Apparently, nowadays downloading yet another Firefox fork like Zen Browser is supposed to feel like some revolutionary act of rebellion against the big-tech browser monopoly — except it doesn’t; it feels like getting slapped in the face by developers who’ve decided your decades-old muscle memory is optional, and that vertical tabs are some sacred core design choice worth defending to the death. I mean, come on.
I installed the damn thing expecting a clean, privacy-focused experience built on solid Firefox foundations. What I got instead was this bizarre fullscreen launch that screams “Netflix TV app” more than actual browser — no top bar in sight, just an “immersive” vertical sidebar crammed with tabs like it’s trying to cosplay as a streaming service dashboard. No horizontal tabs at all; only that rigid vertical strip eating into your screen real estate whether you like it or not while toggling the so-called Compact Mode is nothing but a mind-numbing placebo. And don’t even get me started on how it starts up — it’s not a browser window, it’s some full-screen cinematic nonsense that immediately screams “adapt or die.” It's basically Opera GX but for yogis.
Then there’s the new-tab situation, which is where the real disrespect kicks in. You hit CTRL+T — the universal shortcut burned into every power user’s brain since the dawn of tabbed browsing — and what happens? A floating search box pops up over your current tab instead of opening an actual new blank tab like every sane browser on the planet. No new page, no about:newtab, just this intrusive overlay demanding you type something immediately. It’s not a feature; it’s a middle finger to basic expectations. Oh, and you can't delete pre-existing search engines, and if you try to disable all of them, it enables Google Search Engine automatically; talk about a scummy dark pattern! You might as well integrate a browser hijacker while you're at it. Yeah, I'm sure that'll make the Internet so much calmer.
And the developers? Oh, they’re fully aware. Their FAQ flat-out admits it: no horizontal tabs in the near (or distant) future because “the entire Zen Browser experience [is] built around this concept.” They call it a “core design choice” like that somehow excuses fucking with millions of users’ ingrained habits. It’s utterly disrespectful — the kind of arrogant stance that says “we know better than you, peasant; now relearn everything or get lost.” I pointed this out on their GitHub, disappointingly and frustratingly laying out exactly why the lack of horizontal tabs nonsense make the whole thing brain-cancer-inducing, and pretty much unusable for anyone with actual workflow muscle memory. Their response? They marked my comment as spam. Insecure devs much? Nothing says “we’re open to feedback” like silencing criticism the second it hits a nerve. This is the world we live in: Linus flipping off NVIDIA? Everyone's happy (except NVIDIA)! Me pointing out that it's utterly ridiculous to not give the end-user horizontal tabs as a choice? Oh, pipe down, Ahmed! Have some Spam sandwich! What a bunch of insecure losers!
Look, I’m not some Luddite afraid of change — I’ve switched browsers more times than most people change socks. But when a project treats user expectations like they’re negotiable while hiding behind “vision” and “philosophy,” it stops being innovative and starts being obnoxious. Vertical tabs have their place for tab hoarders who swear by them; fine. But forcing them as the only option, launching in fullscreen app mode, and hijacking CTRL+T for a search popup? That’s not bold design — that’s hubris wrapped in a boring UI.
So I did what any sane person would: I closed Zen Browser for the last time — which only lasted less than 10 minutes anyway — and fired up two instances of Librewolf instead. One portable version for quick tests and throwaway sessions; the other my rock-solid daily driver that’s been quietly minding its own business, respecting every shortcut, every tab layout preference, and every ounce of my workflow without pretending it knows better than me. No drama, no lectures on “core design choices,” just a browser that works the way browsers have worked for twenty years — and actually lets me get shit done instead of lighting my brain on fire.
I genuinely wanted to give this Zen browser a shot, and I even manually imported bookmarks, cookies, etc. I didn't expect to find myself losing my mind re-learning how to browse the Internet after doing it for 20+ years without breaking a sweat. Marking my comment as spam on one of their GitHub issues goes to show how insecure its developers are. Let's see them mark this blog post of mine as spam. What's ironic is that the browser supports mods, and yet there's no mod for horizontal tabs; that's like having the most useless Swiss Army knife on the planet or like a genie that can't grant wishes at all. Ugh, my PC feels violated just testing that abomination of a browser! It's like one of those impossible-to-beat fan-made Mario games!
Developers like this should have no business creating open-source software if they think that lack of basic functionality is a core design feature like it's something to be applauded. What a joke! Even if a monkey vibe-coded a Firefox fork, it would be far superior to Zen Browser, believe me! But then again, I should've seen this coming the second I saw sponsored links. What a disgusting piece of software and a complete waste of the end-user's time! Privacy, my ass! Oh, I know, “If you don't like it, don't use it.” How about, “Go fuck yourselves, you pretentious cunts for wasting my precious time!” 🖕